It is the classic saying "You don't know what you got till it's gone" that applies to my Tuesday night. There were severe thunderstorms/microburst winds/etc. throughout the area on Tuesday night, and my electricity went out at 6:30 pm. I knew that it was out before I got home, because I saw a downed power line around the corner from my house being watched over by a fire truck.
Life without electricity is miserable. We had two lanterns going when it got dark, but there are really limited ways of entertaining yourself when the lights are out. We played board games until it got dark, and that was fine, but then what? Sing songs? Practice interpretive dancing? Scrapbook by candlelight? No thanks. I played monopoly on my cellphone until the battery died, then I laid there in the dark/heat/humidity and did absolutely nothing but get angry at the power company and attempt to sell my soul to the devil if he would turn my bedside fan on. (It didn't work.) My wife had gone to work, and my kids had gone to bed, so there wasn't even anyone to talk to.
I used my iPod to get to sleep, but without my fan, I was sleeping restlessly and overheated. The power did not come on again until a little after 2am, and when my lights and fan kicked on, I was a happy boy.
I think it's a little bit crazy that my power should be off for nearly 8 hours in the year 2007, and that I couldn't get any sort of area specific update from the power company's useless telephone system, but what are you gonna do.
Electricity, I love you.
Friday, September 7, 2007
Monday, August 13, 2007
Homicular Vehicide
Apparently, I have the automotive touch of death. Two cars in the last week have fallen victim to my curse.
The first was an innocent, and brand new, van. I purchased a Toyota Sienna on Aug. 2. On Aug. 4, I drove that new van into a suburban. The front of the van was crumpled and they had to tow my van away. Wrecking a new vehicle within 48 hours of purchasing it is not a pleasant experience. That van had less than 300 miles on it.
Despite how weird that wreck was, I did not suspect that anything was out of the ordinary. I assumed that it was just a freak accident and that all was well.
I got a rental car to drive while the van was being repaired. It was a 2007 Nissan Altima. It was a nice car, I enjoyed driving it. I picked it up on Monday morning and drove it all week. On Friday, my wife drove the Altima to work. When she was 2/3 of the way there, the car stalled and would not drive. She called me and I came and picked her up and took her to work. I then had to go back to the vehicle and wait for the tow truck from the rental company's roadside assistance. When I got back to the Altima, I noticed that smoke was coming from under the hood. Within about 5 minutes, this white smoke turned to black smoke and then became a fire.
By the time the fire truck came and put out the fire, the entire front end of the car had burned. There was no hood, no side panels, no lights, nothing left but the frame and engine block.
Another car bit the dust.
The rental company has now given me a Toyota Prius. I am afraid to drive it. I stayed home most of the day Saturday and Sunday, hoping to shake off the curse. It is now Monday midday. So far So good.
The first was an innocent, and brand new, van. I purchased a Toyota Sienna on Aug. 2. On Aug. 4, I drove that new van into a suburban. The front of the van was crumpled and they had to tow my van away. Wrecking a new vehicle within 48 hours of purchasing it is not a pleasant experience. That van had less than 300 miles on it.
Despite how weird that wreck was, I did not suspect that anything was out of the ordinary. I assumed that it was just a freak accident and that all was well.
I got a rental car to drive while the van was being repaired. It was a 2007 Nissan Altima. It was a nice car, I enjoyed driving it. I picked it up on Monday morning and drove it all week. On Friday, my wife drove the Altima to work. When she was 2/3 of the way there, the car stalled and would not drive. She called me and I came and picked her up and took her to work. I then had to go back to the vehicle and wait for the tow truck from the rental company's roadside assistance. When I got back to the Altima, I noticed that smoke was coming from under the hood. Within about 5 minutes, this white smoke turned to black smoke and then became a fire.
By the time the fire truck came and put out the fire, the entire front end of the car had burned. There was no hood, no side panels, no lights, nothing left but the frame and engine block.
Another car bit the dust.
The rental company has now given me a Toyota Prius. I am afraid to drive it. I stayed home most of the day Saturday and Sunday, hoping to shake off the curse. It is now Monday midday. So far So good.
Thursday, August 2, 2007
The internet is bad
Despite the fact that I spend at least an hour or two each day perusing my favorite sites on the web, I am a firm believer that the internet is an evil evil entity.
Why? Because it is so much harder now to win freebies. Remember back in the day, when every candy bar or soda that you opened had the potential to win you anything from a million dollars to a free candy bar or soda? You looked under the cap, or inside the wrapper, and you were an instant winner or loser. You knew right away, with no effort on your part, whether or not you had won.
Now, because of the internet, things have changed. Companies have capitalized on technology to save money by taking advantage of at least the lazy people, probably a high percentage of everyone else as well. Now everytime you look under the cap or inside the wrapper, what do you see? A code. A code that requires you to perform the following steps before you find out whether or not you won:
1. You are required to hang on to your GARBAGE until you are by a computer.
2. You have to go to the website indicated.
3. Often you have to create an account complete with password.
4. You have to enter your code.
Then the payoff finally comes. You are not a winner.
I don't know about anyone else, but whenever I see the code, I groan in disgust and throw away my garbage. I almost never go online to check the code. Maybe I could have been a million dollar winner!! Probably not, but at least 10 years ago, I would have known, and known right away.
Lousy Internet.
Why? Because it is so much harder now to win freebies. Remember back in the day, when every candy bar or soda that you opened had the potential to win you anything from a million dollars to a free candy bar or soda? You looked under the cap, or inside the wrapper, and you were an instant winner or loser. You knew right away, with no effort on your part, whether or not you had won.
Now, because of the internet, things have changed. Companies have capitalized on technology to save money by taking advantage of at least the lazy people, probably a high percentage of everyone else as well. Now everytime you look under the cap or inside the wrapper, what do you see? A code. A code that requires you to perform the following steps before you find out whether or not you won:
1. You are required to hang on to your GARBAGE until you are by a computer.
2. You have to go to the website indicated.
3. Often you have to create an account complete with password.
4. You have to enter your code.
Then the payoff finally comes. You are not a winner.
I don't know about anyone else, but whenever I see the code, I groan in disgust and throw away my garbage. I almost never go online to check the code. Maybe I could have been a million dollar winner!! Probably not, but at least 10 years ago, I would have known, and known right away.
Lousy Internet.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Yawn.
I have a theory for why people yawn. I go into this explanation with the recognition that there is probably already a reason why people yawn, but if there is already a known reason, I haven't heard about it.
You know how pleasant it is to stretch your muscles? When you get up in the morning, when you get up after spending a significant amount of time at your computer, when you get out of the car after a long drive? You just stretch out and work all those muscles and it feels great. It is therapeutic.
I think that yawning is a stretch for our insides. You open that mouth wide, stretch out the lungs, tummy, etc. Good times. It is stretching for our insides.
You know how pleasant it is to stretch your muscles? When you get up in the morning, when you get up after spending a significant amount of time at your computer, when you get out of the car after a long drive? You just stretch out and work all those muscles and it feels great. It is therapeutic.
I think that yawning is a stretch for our insides. You open that mouth wide, stretch out the lungs, tummy, etc. Good times. It is stretching for our insides.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Rhinotillexomania
Are we all a bunch of nose pickers? I recently read about a study that indicated that most adults do pick their nose. The frequency differs from person to person. Some, who pick upwards of 2-3 hours a day or more, have a clinical disorder. This brought a couple of questions to my mind.
What factors determine who picks and how much and when?
Does it depend on the climate where you live? Does it make a difference if its humid or dry, cold or warm? Does it depend on the season? More picking in the winter? More picking in North America, Canada, Africa, France?
Of one thing I can be sure. Pollution matters. I was in the Philippines for a couple of years. When I was living in the more metro, higher population areas, I noticed that my boogers turned black. My snot was polluted. Nice huh? Smoke from camping or fires also turns my boogies black.
Do people pick at the same time every day? In the same place? Always in the car where boogies can be flicked out the window? At night before sleep? Only in the bathroom (Boring)?
Are there boogers that won't come out with a solid blow that require the pick, or is it an issue of tissue availability?
Is it concern for the presence of cliffhangers in social situations that forces a thorough pick before going out in public?
Does it matter how big your shnoz is?
Does booger consistency play a role? Are people more likely to pick out the dry crusties v. the gooey ones?
Does age matter? Are children bigger pickers than adults? Teenagers?
The study also stated that eating boogies was good for the immune system. I don't think it's worth it.
What factors determine who picks and how much and when?
Does it depend on the climate where you live? Does it make a difference if its humid or dry, cold or warm? Does it depend on the season? More picking in the winter? More picking in North America, Canada, Africa, France?
Of one thing I can be sure. Pollution matters. I was in the Philippines for a couple of years. When I was living in the more metro, higher population areas, I noticed that my boogers turned black. My snot was polluted. Nice huh? Smoke from camping or fires also turns my boogies black.
Do people pick at the same time every day? In the same place? Always in the car where boogies can be flicked out the window? At night before sleep? Only in the bathroom (Boring)?
Are there boogers that won't come out with a solid blow that require the pick, or is it an issue of tissue availability?
Is it concern for the presence of cliffhangers in social situations that forces a thorough pick before going out in public?
Does it matter how big your shnoz is?
Does booger consistency play a role? Are people more likely to pick out the dry crusties v. the gooey ones?
Does age matter? Are children bigger pickers than adults? Teenagers?
The study also stated that eating boogies was good for the immune system. I don't think it's worth it.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Good ole' Chuck
My favorite 15 Chuck Norris Facts:
1. Chuck Norris can speak Braille.
2. Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.
3. Chuck Norris puts the laughter in Manslaughter.
4. On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down “Violence” as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.
5. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
6. Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting involves the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
7. Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.
8. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
9. Death once had a Near-Chuck experience.
10. Chuck Norris keeps his ID on the bottom of his right foot. No one ever asks Chuck Norris for his ID.
11. Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.
12. Chuck Norris’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris.
13. Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.
14. A cobra once bit Chuck Norris’ leg. After 5 days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
15. Chuck Norris is 1/8 Cherokee. This has nothing to do with Ancestry. The man ate a jeep.
1. Chuck Norris can speak Braille.
2. Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.
3. Chuck Norris puts the laughter in Manslaughter.
4. On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down “Violence” as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.
5. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
6. Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting involves the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
7. Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.
8. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
9. Death once had a Near-Chuck experience.
10. Chuck Norris keeps his ID on the bottom of his right foot. No one ever asks Chuck Norris for his ID.
11. Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.
12. Chuck Norris’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris.
13. Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.
14. A cobra once bit Chuck Norris’ leg. After 5 days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
15. Chuck Norris is 1/8 Cherokee. This has nothing to do with Ancestry. The man ate a jeep.
Friday, June 22, 2007
Second Place
I took second place in a pie eating contest. Second.
I don't know how this happened. Willis let me down. Bigtime.
My work had a summer solstice celebration on June 21st that featured a pie eating contest. I entered, and, for good reason, was very confident. I have never lost an eating contest of any kind. Ever. I can drink fast, I can eat fast, I can eat large volumes of food. I can even eat large volumes of food fast. There were originally only 5 entrants, though 2 more joined as the contest was beginning. The rules were:
No utensils
No touching the pie (You could touch the pie tin)
Pie and tin stay on the table
First to eat the entire pie wins
You could choose Banana Cream, or chocolate cream, I went with Banana.
As the opening gun sounded, a few of the obvious newbies dove nose first into their pies and started eating way to fast. I was working my way along nicely when someone mentioned an intern who was in the contest. I lookesd over, and his pie was half gone. I was maybe a quarter of the way through my pie. He was sort of cheating because he had partially lifted the pie tin off the table and bent part of it down to get a better angle on the crust. Now, I don't want you to think that I am using this as an excuse, he would probably have beat me regardless, but I did feel a little as though I had been robbed. This put all of us in a higher gear. By the time he had finished, and won, I had eaten all my filling and over half of the crust. I was a clear second place. That kid inhaled his pie. It was crazy. Someone made a comment that a hungry grad student intern could not be matched. That must be the case, because that pie disappeared awfully fast.
So, while I have been humbled, and Willis and I are still not on speaking terms, I did win second place, and recieved a major award for my troubles.
All in the name of pie.
I don't know how this happened. Willis let me down. Bigtime.
My work had a summer solstice celebration on June 21st that featured a pie eating contest. I entered, and, for good reason, was very confident. I have never lost an eating contest of any kind. Ever. I can drink fast, I can eat fast, I can eat large volumes of food. I can even eat large volumes of food fast. There were originally only 5 entrants, though 2 more joined as the contest was beginning. The rules were:
No utensils
No touching the pie (You could touch the pie tin)
Pie and tin stay on the table
First to eat the entire pie wins
You could choose Banana Cream, or chocolate cream, I went with Banana.
As the opening gun sounded, a few of the obvious newbies dove nose first into their pies and started eating way to fast. I was working my way along nicely when someone mentioned an intern who was in the contest. I lookesd over, and his pie was half gone. I was maybe a quarter of the way through my pie. He was sort of cheating because he had partially lifted the pie tin off the table and bent part of it down to get a better angle on the crust. Now, I don't want you to think that I am using this as an excuse, he would probably have beat me regardless, but I did feel a little as though I had been robbed. This put all of us in a higher gear. By the time he had finished, and won, I had eaten all my filling and over half of the crust. I was a clear second place. That kid inhaled his pie. It was crazy. Someone made a comment that a hungry grad student intern could not be matched. That must be the case, because that pie disappeared awfully fast.
So, while I have been humbled, and Willis and I are still not on speaking terms, I did win second place, and recieved a major award for my troubles.
All in the name of pie.
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